Blink
Inspired by a comment I saw, reworked and then expanded into two more stanzas.
Underestimation of the self is the bane of existence and a disservice to the gift that is your own unlimited potential. The fear of being regarded as a narcissist is the penultimate Illusion—a knife in the back that looks like a helping hand. Self-love equated to narcissism is the final illusion. Accept each distortion within a reflection— all the bed hair, ripples in a puddle, and monstrosities in a funhouse mirror. And you'll discover the greatest muse is the person who blinks when you do.
Beautifully written.
I've been reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and she talks a lot about this phenomenon of feeling inadequate. Seems like a very common pattern is to undergo some kind of trauma as a child (which we all do in some way, even the very lucky and loved among us), which causes our ego (not a bad word!) to grasp for control or understanding of the situation, so often falling to the thing we feel we can control: ourselves. If I was rejected or abandoned or scolded, there must be something wrong with me. From there, several patterns are common, including people-pleasing, lashing out, and/or severe self loathing to the point where you yourself actually prevent yourself from becoming happier or more at peace.
What a complex and strange game the universe plays with itself via our bodies! As far as I can tell, the best antidotes are mindfulness (just noticing), gratitude (seeing and naming what you have, which is often quite a lot), and compassion (realizing that the need to please others can be transformed into a deep love of all life, including ourselves).
Thanks for the thought-provoking piece!
To accept the inevitable is to see your self as others see you. The knife in the back hurts but if you survive the attack return with your words.