I've been reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and she talks a lot about this phenomenon of feeling inadequate. Seems like a very common pattern is to undergo some kind of trauma as a child (which we all do in some way, even the very lucky and loved among us), which causes our ego (not a bad word!) to grasp for control or understanding of the situation, so often falling to the thing we feel we can control: ourselves. If I was rejected or abandoned or scolded, there must be something wrong with me. From there, several patterns are common, including people-pleasing, lashing out, and/or severe self loathing to the point where you yourself actually prevent yourself from becoming happier or more at peace.
What a complex and strange game the universe plays with itself via our bodies! As far as I can tell, the best antidotes are mindfulness (just noticing), gratitude (seeing and naming what you have, which is often quite a lot), and compassion (realizing that the need to please others can be transformed into a deep love of all life, including ourselves).
Yes! Amazing comment Mike. I think Tara Brach is onto something, so much of the trauma and insecurity I had to overcome in adult-hood stemmed so much from early childhood events, nothing crazy or severe thankfully, but just the cruelty of children and that mixed with peer-pressure built up into something I didn't realize affected me in little things such as how I would be self-deprecating to a fault or think whether or not I deserve the good things that were happening in life. It's a tough thing to get over but as you said the antidotes are the mindfulness, gratitude, and compassion.
Hey ari! Happy to have you here. It was a comment on Paul's Wittenberger's "Imposter" Poem by Monica P. which read: "Interpretation is the bane of existence." I found the it to be a good comment and the structure of it to be poetic that it could be rewritten like a formula, hence the first stanza that I let settle in my notebook for a few days before writing this.
Beautifully written.
I've been reading Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach and she talks a lot about this phenomenon of feeling inadequate. Seems like a very common pattern is to undergo some kind of trauma as a child (which we all do in some way, even the very lucky and loved among us), which causes our ego (not a bad word!) to grasp for control or understanding of the situation, so often falling to the thing we feel we can control: ourselves. If I was rejected or abandoned or scolded, there must be something wrong with me. From there, several patterns are common, including people-pleasing, lashing out, and/or severe self loathing to the point where you yourself actually prevent yourself from becoming happier or more at peace.
What a complex and strange game the universe plays with itself via our bodies! As far as I can tell, the best antidotes are mindfulness (just noticing), gratitude (seeing and naming what you have, which is often quite a lot), and compassion (realizing that the need to please others can be transformed into a deep love of all life, including ourselves).
Thanks for the thought-provoking piece!
Yes! Amazing comment Mike. I think Tara Brach is onto something, so much of the trauma and insecurity I had to overcome in adult-hood stemmed so much from early childhood events, nothing crazy or severe thankfully, but just the cruelty of children and that mixed with peer-pressure built up into something I didn't realize affected me in little things such as how I would be self-deprecating to a fault or think whether or not I deserve the good things that were happening in life. It's a tough thing to get over but as you said the antidotes are the mindfulness, gratitude, and compassion.
To accept the inevitable is to see your self as others see you. The knife in the back hurts but if you survive the attack return with your words.
A great comment that's beautifully compliments the poem! Happy to have one of your poetic thought-provoking comments grace my work Richard!
"the greatest muse
is the person
who blinks
when you do."
I love this.
Thank you Jeffrey! I always try to make the ending pop as much as I can!
I love this.
Thank you Wendy!
But what if I AM a narcissist?!
Hahaha! Everything in moderation at that point then David.
Hey Daniel! New reader — this is beautiful. What inspired it? I’d love to know the original comment + your initial reaction / thoughts to it :)
Hey ari! Happy to have you here. It was a comment on Paul's Wittenberger's "Imposter" Poem by Monica P. which read: "Interpretation is the bane of existence." I found the it to be a good comment and the structure of it to be poetic that it could be rewritten like a formula, hence the first stanza that I let settle in my notebook for a few days before writing this.
I like this, as we shouldn’t doubt ourselves and that we should believe in ourselves too, and to not think of it as narcissism.
Thank you for your comment! Agreed!
Thank you for the restack @Sure Turner! I really appreciate your support!